Archive | 9:45 pm

My dumb temper

25 Jul

Recently, I have decided that I really want to work on me. I want to start eating right again, exercising and most of all making myself the best work candidate I can be.

One problem that I really want to correct is my horrible, terrible temper. I am the definition of an Irish stereotype. I get frustrated way too easily, over-think too many things, spend too much time getting angry.

It’s really a big problem. I want to be much more easy-going than I am, but I really struggle to stay calm in some situations. My boyfriend, Alex, is the most level-headed and rational person I’ve ever met, so I think his ability to always be calm sometimes drives me crazy.

Lately I have been considering options to calm down and stop being such a crazy bitch all the time. I was going to get one of those anger management books, but I feel like I might never read it unless it’s short and sweet. I also don’t want to turn into an over -the-top overly sensitive nerd, I just want to chill out a little.

One of the steps I definitely want to try and do is counting to ten. Deep breaths, stopping and thinking before I actually get mad and react. I also want to learn to be more accepting of people. I feel like I expect too much from people, and when they don’t meet my expectations I react by being immediately annoyed. Especially with driving.

The other day I was driving and I realized that the people around me weren’t driving in a way that is supposed to please me, but in a way that they find is safest for themselves. Getting annoyed at little things that people do, like parking and misusing turn signals, is a waste of my time and energy. Everyone makes mistakes.

Here’s the thing: it’s plenty easy for me to sit here and talk about all this stuff now, but when I’m put in the heat of the moment I have to learn how to react appropriately. I feel like if I can learn to control my temper I can adjust and change into a person that I want to be.

Let’s see if I can actually do this, and if I fail, I’ll talk about it here. It’s almost like an addiction. One day at a time!

Job Hunting Monday!

25 Jul

So today is one of my (many) days off- only being allowed to work part-time at my job gives me this wonderfully boring luxury- so I spend it as I usually do: job-hunting.

What is a day of job hunting for me look like? Well I wake up around 11 a.m. because I love sleeping more than anything. It’s something I’m very passionate about. I shower and put on some of my dressier attire, get all made up and what not, and head downstairs.

The next several hours are spent on the phone, on and and constantly refreshing my e-mails waiting for some sort of reply. Throw a lunch in the middle somewhere, along with the occasional drive into town to fill out some applications in person, and there you have it.

On a day like today I will average about 30 applications a day. With four days of applications a week, some less than others, I probably apply to about 85 jobs a week. So far I have gotten… 5 calls back.

What goes through my head at night? It’s not what wondering why I’m not good enough, that’s for sure. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough… and gosh darnit people like me! But seriously, I can confidently say that I would make a prime candidate for any job that I have applied for. If someone were to just meet me for an interview I know that I could get any job I could want. Not a doubt in my mind.

What I do think about is my future. If I’m being honest with myself I still have no idea what I want to do. I graduated with a journalism degree and I now know that I am not that interested in being a journalist. I have a lot to think about. I want to begin to build a great future for myself but I can’t even figure out where that will start.

I hate Mondays.

Remember when…

25 Jul

When I was a kid a video like this would have actually been helpful. Now it’s just hilarious. Ah, the glory days.

Reunited and it feels so good…

25 Jul

Two years ago I decided to study abroad in London at Kingston University for a semester. I didn’t have a ton of money, I was completely terrified of being alone and I was almost entirely unprepared but I made the plunge anyway, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I had ever made.

It was so hard to choose just one picture!

The friends I had made while studying abroad are still some of the most important and influential people in my life. Being thrown into a country with 50 other Americans just as confused and scared as you are creates a bond, kind of like a family. When one of us were hurting or upset, the rest of us were there to fix whatever was going on. I’m usually not this sappy and emotional, but I can’t quite explain how much my study abroad trip shaped me into who I am today, and I have my awesome friends to thank for that.

So anyway, I haven’t seen any of my Kingston friends in two years. It’s pretty much unacceptable, seeing as some of my closest friends live as close as New York City, but college and schedules and still paying off debts from one too many London shopping trips always left us promising to meet up later. Finally, finally I got to see two of my absolute best friends in the whole world, Shana and Lizz. And I can say ‘whole world’ pretty seriously since I have literally travelled the world, so suck it.

Shana (left), Lizz (middle) and me in Florence, Italy, 2009

Shana and Lizz traveled all over Greece and Italy with me for a month, and Shana and I had way too much fun (and a little too much beer) on a trip to Scotland. They were also my constant dinner, shopping and studying companions. All day and night I knew that if I needed someone I would always have those two remarkable people to call and bitch to. They are some of the first friends that I could be completely weird, goofy and ridiculously embarrassing around, but, more importantly, they are also people that would accept me when I didn’t feel like my usual crazy self. 

... and in Philly, 2011!

Not having them around for the last two years totally blorfed, especially knowing that we actually lived so close by. So getting to see them this weekend was like Christmas and the 50% off sale at Lucky Brand combined. It was also totally kickin’ to have them come to Philly (especially since Shana has never been here), my wonderful city. We went out to some bars at night, walked around, saw some sights headed to Love Park for a swim since it was ridonculously hot out and just caught up on life. It felt like we have never been apart.

Here I am, with a crummy part-time job at a grocery store, no car, no money, no prospects, living at home. It’s pretty easy to lose hope with life as its going on around me. Then I get to see these two awesome people, both of whom are such important influences in my life, and things get a little brighter. I guess that cliche is right: simple things in life are what matters.