Archive | 11:13 pm

Fighting my Facebooking

30 Jul

My name is Erica. And I am a Facebook stalker.

I- like everyone else who has a Facebook- mainly use that damn addicting site for creeping on people I haven’t talked to since high school. Seeing who is pregnant, married, in jail, or actually succeeding with life. Why use it for my actual friends, you ask? Because they’re my friends and I know about their lives. Besides, most of my friends are smart and tend to keep their personal life off of social networking, while other less-logical people like to spill everything going on with everyone they know in one status update.

I firmly believe that social networking is mainly used to make people feel better about their own lives, or see what they need to improve upon based on other people’s updates, pictures and relationship statuses. If you don’t agree, chances are you’re either delusional or a nun. How many times have you had this conversation with a friend:

Friend: Oh! Did you see that so and so is pregnant with so and so’s baby!?
You: What!? No!!! Who told you that!?
Friend: It’s on her Facebook! She actually posted her first ultrasound and tagged so and so in it!
You: Oh my god I’ve got to add her!

It’s not like you have spoke to these parents-to-be in the last 4+ years, and it’s not like you’ll intend to anytime soon, but every little scandal makes life a little more delicious, right?

Don’t worry, I’m not judging, because I’ve done it way too many times before, all while knowing that it is wrong and I’m not being the nice person I pride myself in being. So, in keeping up with the whole growing up theme, I decided to stop lying to myself and clean up the crap.

First thing I did was go through and delete people that I haven’t had contact with since high school, and people that I stopped and thought, ‘who is that?’ Basically, I got rid of the complete strangers in my life.

Secondly, I deleted profiles that I spent most of staring at, but didn’t know the people behind them. People with, in one way or another, interesting lives that were my form of gossip and reality television. As much as social networking tells us about people it doesn’t tell us everything. There could be a world of a story behind them that could actually make me love them or hate them, people’s lives don’t translate to social media.

Lastly, I deleted people that had a negative impact on my own experiences. I went through and got rid of people that had hurt me in the past, or people that I knew in some way that were probably viewing my profile with bad intent. And that felt the best of all.

I think my views on social media have changed. When I was 17 and just started with Facebook and Myspace and all those time-wasters my main goal was convincing people that I was cool, I could have fun. I would post tons of pictures of me looking crazy and wild with all my tons and tons of friends. Now I realize that social media shouldn’t be about all of that, it should be catching up with those that you can’t be with directly.

From now on I plan on acting like an adult when it comes to social media. I don’t have to impress anyone, I have plenty of people who think I’m “cool,” and know how to have fun. Besides, I don’t really care much about impressing people anymore.

The rejection game

30 Jul

Any of my friends could tell you that I was the worst single person ever. I was an abomination to single-dom. Mainly because I didn’t understand the whole concept of picking up guys. I didn’t like most guys for some reason or another, and the other ones played the whole phone number waiting game that was just plain ridiculous.

The fact is I’ve never been good at waiting for calls. And now, those calls are- or should I say aren’t- coming from jobs, not unattractive boys in bars. I go to an interview, think I did a great job, start imagining what I would say when I call up and quit my cashier job, and then sit around and wait for the grand call saying “Erica! Please, please come work for our lustrous company! Oh please! We’ll pay you anything, everything you could want! You want rubies!? You’ve got rubies!” Then I tell my parents how great everything went and how I should be starting in a week or so…

And then I wait.

And wait.

And stare at the phone and wait some more.

Trying to leave the phone alone.

I wait and wait for a call from people who, days before, said I was a prime candidate and everything they were looking for. I consider what I will say when I call them and tell them that I have been waiting for a response. And then, like the crazy stalker girl, I call them:

“I was just seeing how my interview went and if I should blah, blah, blah,” when I know they aren’t interested and I’m just embarrassing myself. No one’s calling me back.

This exact situation happened to me with Lucky Brand Jeans the other day. Everything couldn’t have gone better. I wore this bangin’ outfit to the store and my hair looked great. I left my phone and wallet in the car, and I was early. The interview itself, which was originally a group interview until no one but me showed up, was absolutely perfect. They said they would meet my price expectations and that I should expect a call from the district manager within the week. Then… no call.

I waited almost a week before my crazy got the best of me and I called the store. I stammered out how excited I was to get working and get my next interview, and the woman I interviewed with told me she was just getting around to checking my references. I hung up, satisfied, until I realized one thing:

They didn’t ask for references.

So here I am, looking like a total tool again, desperate enough for a part-time job that I would humiliate myself like that. I could get over not hearing back from some dude, but this waiting game I play with jobs is just the worst. I know I shouldn’t let it bother me: I have been working hard since I was 14-years-old and I know the outlines of what it takes to do well. I have a great list of references and any company would be lucky to have me. In fact, I have gotten two job offers in the last 2 months that I have turned down. But, somehow every time I miss out on another job offer I get bothered. Even if its as small as a job folding jeans for rich middle-aged moms trying to look young.

I don’t actually know how to get over the rejection game. In my mind the only way to get over it is to not get rejected. Hopefully, soon I’ll actually have a job offer and a subsequent job that will mean I don’t have to worry about this crap anymore.