Archive | 12:31 pm

Lottery Madness

30 Mar

The Mega Millions jackpot is up to a whopping $640 million right now. So naturally everybody everywhere is going completely and totally nutso. The grocery store had a line roped off last night for people buying tickets for tonight’s drawing and I can only imagine what convenience stores and Shop Rites all over the area must be like right now.

It brings me back to my high school days working as a cashier at Rite Aid… ahhh the not-so-glory days. At some point in my time there the Mega Millions went up to around $800 million and I had the unfortunate task of working there on the night the lottery dropped. Oh the madness, the insanity, the crazy amounts of money wasted on these poor dreams. People lined up and literally wrapped around the store until 8 p.m. when the lottery closed, buying $50 and even $100 worth of tickets, while I stood there pushing the same button over and over again, asking “cash or annuity, cash or annuity.” You bet I called up my friends when I got done my shift and made fun of all those nut jobs for days and days. The fact is that in my three years at Rite Aid the most money I ever saw come from any lottery ticket was about $100. And that was from a scratch off. You just don’t win.

Still while I was in the grocery store last night, staring at all those people, in the midst of my judgement my eyes flashed to the money on the lottery sign. There was so much of it, so so much.  I need so money for so many things, and there it is, just enticing me. So much money. How could it hurt to buy just one… oh no, I’m getting sucked in! I can’t avoid it! Someone help!

And that’s how I ended up with four lottery tickets for tonight’s Mega Millions lottery drawing.

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Trends I’m Too Young to Not Understand

30 Mar

If my awkward attempts at humor haven’t clued you in on who I am, I can flat out tell you: I’m not that trendy. I don’t know what my problem is, really. I guess I just don’t have any interest in investing myself into something that’s cool at the moment, only to realize in a month that it’s no longer what the kids are into. I wasted my money on trends like that all through high school and I’m over it!

Through that disinterest I have also began to realize how weird, pointless and kind of stupid these trends are. I know as a member of the young adult population I am supposed to “get” them, but I can’t. So here’s my long, rambling rant about weird trends that are super hip and don’t make a lick of sense to me.

Mustaches
Mustache coffee mugs, phone covers, pillow cases, party themes… What the heck!? Since when has something so ordinary and

This is stupid, so is your trend.

kind of gross become hip? A mustache on a man has never ever looked attractive. They get food in them and wiggle around

when they talk and they are awful for kissing. They are stupid, and so is this trend. I don’t understand why all of the sudden

everyone is supposed to cover their houses with mustaches. Mustaches. Really? Now guys are walking around with stupid mustaches like the one Captain Hook has in “Hook” and thinking they look trendy? No you don’t! You look like a sheep in ugly facial hair. There’s a reason the handlebar mustache has gone away in our society, please don’t bring it back as some sort of ironic gesture, hipsters.

DayGlow
I can see where this might be fun to some. Heck, I could see myself having fun in the right setting of a giant paint party similar to DayGlow, but in its true form the whole idea looks horrible! Hey lets all get in a car and drive to a big warehouse then stand around in a group of thousands of people with no room to move (and no way to get drinks and make the whole experience more bearable) then attempt to wiggle around AKA dance inside the mass of screaming people while other people squirt paint on us and play really loud DubStep (another loud trend I don’t get) for a short period of time, then get in the car soaking wet from other peoples’ sweat and paint and go home and shower. For one, that paint must be terrible for the interior of your car, and it’s all just way too much. Too many people crammed together, too much work to get to that point. Too, too much for very little reward.

Bon Iver
Bon Iver is terrible. Weird, shrieky, spacey junk. I refuse to explain any further or listen to any more of it, and I wish everyone else would stop posting weird Bon Iver videos on my Facebook. The end.

Instagram
It’s not that I don’t get Instagram. I know exactly what it is although I don’t own an iPhone and have never

Duck faces AND instagram? You're flawless, why cover it up with so much weird?!

used it. What I don’t understand is why people still use it. I mean you can just post photos on Twitter and Facebook directly from your phone, and they don’t come out grainy and in sepia tone. I guess if it came out for a Droid I would try it, but I still don’t see the point and it would bother me that my pictures wouldn’t be clear. Someone explained to me that “using Instagram instantly makes your pictures look good when they aren’t actually good, which is why so many girls like taking pictures of themselves and posting them all over the place”, but if that’s the case everyone knows you’re just cheating! Ladies, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, and don’t cover it up with annoying filters!

YOLO
Wait, wait, wait. I thought everyone had unanimously agreed a few years ago that using word abbreviations in everyday speech was lame? Now it’s cool again? Since when!? Apparently YOLO (or you only live once, for the people like me that don’t understand most trends without the help of Google) is a way for college girls to drink a lot and make bad decisions without judging themselves. The thing is though, I also realize that IOLO (I only live once, get it? No? Eh.) and I choose to use that time to make good choices, like, you know, not say YOLO. You can’t erase big mistakes people, remember that before you do your little YOLO chant or whatever.

Paleo
This super, duper trendy diet is odd to say the least. I love the concept: eat meat and veggies all day, but I can’t quite grasp the entire idea. There’s a lot of “you can eat this, but not if it’s this, this, this or this” and “you can eat that but not if it has this much this or that much that in it.” I don’t really understand how to ever get this right, and I’ve tried to because any excuse to eat steak every day is good to me. Paleo fans swear by it, with that super condescending “it’s actually not thaaaaaaat hard” kind of tone whenever someone like me tries to make sense of it. Trust me, I’ve worked at Whole Foods. I’ve heard the Paleo talk more than I’d ever wanted to. So I guess if going Paleo turns you into a totally self-righteous lame-o I don’t want to give it a try.

Try This: Easy, Grilled Dinner

30 Mar

Tonight was a tricky night for dinner for Alex and me. It’s Thursday, which is the best day of the week (30 Rock, Community, Swamp People… you get the picture), but it’s also a very, very, very crazy week at work so I’ve been stuck at the office fairly late.

Considering that I love Thursdays so much I really wanted to cook a nice dinner, but I needed to find something that was very quick (my Thursday shows start at 8 p.m. AKA way too early) and still very cheap. So a little searching on the FoodNetwork.com and I found my answer.

It may be a little bit cold for the spring time in New Jersey, but we still decided to celebrate the season and do some grilling. Peeled, raw, extra large shrimp were on sale at the grocery store, and I almost never eat shrimp for dinner, so Alex and I decided to make Bobby Flay’s Gambas al Ajillo. My favorite vegetable in the world, asparagus, is in season so I knew we had to make that too.  I have been dreaming about grilled asparagus wrapped in prosciutto, and once again I turned to my main man Bobby Flay.

Now if you’re having a fancy dinner party or something lavish, stick to Bobby’s recipe word-for-word. If you’re like me and are not trying to buy a million ingredients, simply take your asparagus, snap off the ends, toss them lightly in olive oil, salt and then wrap 3 pieces together in one piece of prosciutto and grill for about 15 minutes. We threw some french fries into the oven as well, but you don’t really need them. Take the fries off the plate and you still have a very full plate! They didn’t really get eaten because everything else was so insanely delicious.

Voila, a dinner that took maybe 25 minutes tops. Give it a try!