Tag Archives: Just Me

10 Reasons Why I Suck at Blogging

26 Oct

Every night for the past two weeks I have tried to sit down and leave a post in this thing. I’m not short of ideas, that’s for sure. I’ve got this new (at times, very very stressful job), I’m car and apartment shopping and I’m just generally weird at all times. Creativity isn’t the issue.

So, as a form of punishment, and hopefully inspiration, I’ve decided to sit down and list my 10 reasons why I suck at blogging.

1. I’m lazy.
Let’s not lie here. After a day of doing stuff I don’t feel like settling down and doing more stuff. I am pretty lazy, and I just don’t like pushing myself beyond what is necessary. Sorry!

2. I get too preoccupied with other pointless stuff.
Right now I’m knitting myself a scarf. I didn’t realize how long and stupid and time consuming knitting a scarf is. No, I don’t plan on packing it away and going back to sanity. I plan on finishing it, then move onto another pointless craft to waste my time.

3. I’ve got a job.
Here’s the deal with entry level jobs: they make you work a lot. A lot. I expected working a lot, just maybe not 10 hours a day like I am now. So, when I get home, the last thing I want to do is write more.

4. I’ve got too much I want to do with money from that job.
Dinners, shopping, trips, those dumb crafts I mentioned. Think of all the ways a person can waste their money and I have done that in the last two weeks. Now don’t get me wrong, I am by no means making a lot of money, but I am spending a lot of money. And that takes money.

5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Working a 50 hour a week job takes up enough time, and I still have a boyfriend that I kind of sort of like spending time with. I’m not going to spend my now very limited with him on a computer. I spend enough time every day staring at a screen for Pete’s sake.

6. I’m too busy reading better blogs.
I am obsessed with HelloGiggles.com right now. Seriously. Why are you still reading this? Go check that out.

7. I was in mourning over the Phillies.
Yes, when the Phillies lost in the first round of the playoffs (The first round? Seriously guys? I don’t even unders…whatever.) I actually cried. The entire night. I’ve been spending the last three weeks hiding from sports stations, news websites, anything that mentions the word “baseball.” It takes a lot of energy to be that pathetic.

8. I’m not doing very well at having it all.
My mind kind of painted a picture of this (entry-level) job as being a glamourous 12-4 $50,000 a year reality show kind of job where I don’t actually do anything. Turns out I spend most of my day stressing over not screwing up only to receive a paycheck that makes me angry and depressed just to look at, then go home to a house pretty packed full of people and pass out. Then on top of that I got my lovely student loans letters, so after this month I will be spending the next 10 years of my life hating my decision to go to college. I’m definitely not living like a Kardashian.

9. I’m trying my best at pursuing even more topics worth writing about.
When the weekends come I try and get out to do, you know, hobbies. See friends, watch sports, drive places, see things. Just try and be a little more interesting than average. Doesn’t lead a lot of time to be a blogger

10. I’m good at making up excuses.
See numbers one through nine.

Catching up on life

5 Oct

If I was going to say ‘sorry I haven’t been posting lately, I’ve been super busy’ that would be a terrible lie.

Because super busy doesn’t even explain how insane my life in the last week has been.

In case you all were wondering, yes I am still with my job and yes, I did get my terrible, horrible, hideous haircut fixed. Getting into the swing of things at the magazine has been much crazier than I imagined it would be. I’m there at least nine hours a day, and I always wish I had the energy to work for another nine more.

When I interned at the magazine I didn’t stress if a project didn’t get finished or if I missed a part of an assignment, because I knew that when 5 p.m. rolled around I was out of there until the next time I was due back. In the mean time someone else could pick up my mistakes. In the big-girl-world that isn’t how life flies, and my biggest stress is constantly worrying about getting everything done and doing it well. I can’t mess this up.

I think my unexpected pile of stress led to my nasty cold over the weekend. My cold couldn’t have come at a worse time: it was the first weekend that I wouldn’t have to show up at a job, it was the start of the MLB playoffs and, most importantly, it was my Nanny’s 92nd birthday party.

I love my grandmother. She is one of the most important people in my life, and we have always had a very special bond that I haven’t shared with anyone else. She gives me faith in moments of my life when I didn’t think faith would come to me.

Monday was my Nanny’s official birthday, so I had planned to call her, then visit her during the week and then write a post about how special she is to me here. Unfortunately plans changed when my Nanny fell of a step in her home and broke her hip. At the age of 92 any injury is serious, especially one that would require such a serious surgery. Needless to say I felt beyond crushed, guilty and all-around miserable. I couldn’t even be there for her birthday, which, after her fall, my family was viewing as her last. I had let her down.

My Nanny grew up orphaned during the Great Depression. She has survived cancer, heart disease, a stroke. She’s lost her husband and one of her sons, and yet she still stands as the strongest person I have ever experienced. She is a fighter, and she proved that once again to our entire family as she fought through her surgery Tuesday morning. While she is in pain she is recovering, and should start to heal soon.

It has been a stressful crazy and pretty much overwhelming week. I’m pretty much ready for it to be over. I’m ready to become more adjusted to a real work schedule and full work responsibilities and I’m really ready for the Phillies to stop stinking and finish this series. All I can do is hope for an easier next week, right?

 

Another day, another crappy haircut

27 Sep

I hate the hair salon.

The last good haircut I got was three years ago. Three years ago. Since then I have been jumping from place to place, running on tips from other people, begging for a decent hair cut and receiving the total opposite.

Today I decided that I wanted a professional, chic doo for my brand new job that I start tomorrow morning. I bought a sharp new first day of work outfit, made sure my pants were hemmed and pressed and made the impromptu decision to get my hair done at this salon that a million people suggested to me. Every time I do this I get the same feeling: this one will be the one I like.

I wanted something like Nicole Richie’s hair here on the left. Short-ish with really cute, prominent side-swept bangs that would frame my face. I thought that this would be a simple cut that would look effortlessly cute on me and be easy to do. I took a picture on my camera phone to show the girl who was going to cut my hair, this lady that looked less than pleased to be walking the earth today (always a great way to start a haircut).

Here is my result:I’ve always wanted to look like David Cassidy circa 1978.

As you can see there are plenty of reasons for me to not be happy with this outcome. There is no shape to it, no anything. Just a tiny little lump of bang on one side- not very side-swept if you ask me- and the rest just lies there.

Has anyone else been through this hair nightmare? Where are there good hair salons in the South Jersey area? Who knows what they are doing? Maybe I just have cursed hair, or I don’t know how to request what I want correctly. Does anyone have any advice?

 

 

It’s Business Time!

24 Sep

One week ago I was behind a counter ringing up over-priced produce. And today?

Ladies and gentlemen, you are looking at the new editorial assistant at South Jersey Magazine.

There’s my acceptance letter and everything (I have to apologize for my appearance. If we’re being honest I really did nothing to improve my awkwardness before taking this picture. I just put a cardigan on so it looked like i wasn’t wearing pajamas. Which I am.)

I have a job!! I am seriously completely floored right now. Back in 2010 I interned at the magazine and had a seriously amazing time. It was a great place, a totally interesting magazine and I really did well there. Well, the other day I was sitting around being my poor self AKA window shopping at the mall when I got a call from my old Editor-In-Chief with a job offer! Of course I answered with a perfect response…

“Uh….Uhhh… OH MY GOD OKAY!!!! OH MY GOD… What!?” Literally. Growing up is a process…

Here I was, prepared for the next few months of steady unemployment and substitute teaching and a job opportunity that I would only dream about just sneaks out of nowhere. I’m seriously blown away. I feel like one of the luckiest people on earth right about now: first I got this job, then I found my favorite pair of pajama shorts, then I realized that I actually have a career and cried a little. I’ve been in a state of shock and surprise and smiles pretty much all day long.

Growing up may be a process but I guess it begins on Wednesday for me. I just can’t wait to wear a work outfit and fancy shoes every day. I’m a grown up now!!!

An Open Plea to Facebook

21 Sep

Dear Facebook,

Not to sound like a hipster, but I have been a loyal follower since- gosh I can’t believe I’m saying this- before it was even cool. I created my page back in 2006, a simpler time when everything made sense. Ah, the glory days.

In the last three years you have taken this simple social networking site and changed it so many times that no one even knows what to do with it anymore. People are even creating articles like this, from Gizmodo, as a sad attempt to explain your Facebook updates. I was about to sit down and really focus on this article, but then I realized that nowadays the Facebook guys change the layout more often than I sneeze, so I wrote this post instead.

When I log into this new page I have no idea what is going on. Stories from two, three hours ago are pasted between brand new updates, so I haven’t a clue what is actually happening at this moment. There’s a weird update bar that just seems annoying to read, and the pictures have been magnified to a really ridiculous size. I know plenty of people have logged on this morning to see what was up and reacted the same way as I did… Oh no not again… but I can’t tell since all of my complaint- updates are somewhere in cyber space where I’ll never see them.

As a loyal Facebook-er I am begging you to just stop. Social networking works because it is simple, or at least it used to be. Nowadays I find myself more drawn to Twitter or blogs because at least I know what to expect. Facebook has become this annoyance, no longer sending update e-mails and moving things around so much that it really doesn’t even compute with me anymore. I think I speak for many people when I say that we as a market like simple. We like that Facebook once gave us the opportunity to shoot onto our page five minutes before work, check out what’s new really quick and maybe leave a pointless and annoying status (something like “is going to work!! lol!!” or something else that makes every other reader think… OH MY GOD WHO CARES!?). These were easy and fast ways to be apart of the world of social media, and now it has been turned into a complicating process of updates and scrolling. No, thank you.

There have been many times through all these changes that I have even considered leaving Facebook because it’s just too darn annoying to relearn and it’s getting old, but you have me trapped in your web of annoying statuses and drunken pictures. In all honesty I only keep my page still because I have friends all over the world that I would lose contact with if I did not have the page. Now that I’m slowly transitioning into a somewhat responsible adult, I have friends getting engaged or married, having non-accidental babies, moving into apartments and homes, things that I would like to know about without searching for twenty minutes. My biggest concern is that all of this will no longer be evident, and Facebook will turn into a big old waste of my time (not that it isn’t already but…).

I know that you know that I can’t leave Facebook, but stop dangling that power struggle over my head and give us all a break!

You used to be cool,

A concerned social media stalker

Remembering 9/11/01

11 Sep

When I was very young my family and I would visit my great aunt, we called her Dimples, in Staten Island. She had this really neat apartment in a high rise that we would go to, and every time we visited she would take us up to the roof. From that roof we had the most clear view of the New York City skyline. My best memory was when Dimples would show us the World Trade Centers, the “Twin Towers”. I am a twin, and she would always make it a point to show us the towers so that we could laugh about how they were named after my brother and me.

I was twelve years old on September 11, 2001. I was in seventh grade, which pretty much proves that I was at my peak of terrible-ness (have you ever met a pre-teen that isn’t generally awful in every sense of the word? Me neither).

To be 100 percent honest, I had absolutely no grasp on the severity of September 11th. None whatsoever. My middle school didn’t actually tell us what was going on that day, and even now I wonder how my classmates and I didn’t have any hint of anything. I faintly remember my Social Studies teacher, Mr. Pont, looking like he was crying, but we had just lost one of our English teachers in a car accident the previous week, and I thought nothing of it.

When I got home from school, oddly enough nobody else besides my brother and I were home, and I remember turning on MTV (back when TRL was still around and cool) to find it was shut down on stand-by, as was most of the other channels a 12-year-old would tune to. My twin and I jumped around the house laughing about whatever was going on that would warrant all of our shows to be shut off. We eventually got to a news station to see what was going on, and I still really couldn’t process how horrible this day was. I guess I assumed that if something serious had happened then our school, the culmination of a kid’s day, would have at least have said something, anything to us.

This was the day before cell phones were given to every infant while leaving the womb, and I called my friends from our landline to see how I should be reacting. Some of them were crying and some were panicked while others were just as confused as I was. Mind you, I live relatively close to New York City, and to a lot of people in my area this day was much more significant and heartbreaking. If I remember correctly my dad was away on business in Oklahoma, and when my mom came home she looked pretty broken and empty. I was used to seeing her excited, angry, shocked, pretty much any emotion besides blank.

To be honest I think that a lot of my emotions were a reaction to other’s emotions. I really couldn’t understand how horrible this day was. The televisions played over the crash so often that it wasn’t really shocking anymore, and I learned how to deal with that terror very quickly at a very young age. This was around the time in my life that I began seeing dead bodies in the media for the first time and reacting to them with very little compassion. It couldn’t be helped, really, because it was everywhere.

This desensitized view of life prepared me for the aftermath of 9/11: the wars, the constant fear of attack, the death. The next year I sat in history class and watched Shock and Awe, followed by a war that is still going on today, followed by a crippling recession that seemed to just kick our country when it was down. I grew up hearing about parents going off to the Middle East, and now I watch my own friends leave behind their families to fight.

Now that I am ten years older I have a real understanding of what happened. Ten years later I can’t look at videos or pictures of that day without getting upset. I can understand how the broken families feel and I can see the pain that is still hidden in the hearts of my friends and families from what that day did to our country. It makes me upset and angry, because I now realize how much harder September 11th made it for kids like me to grow up. There was so many more issues that we were taught to deal with, on top of all of the hard things that come with being a teenager and young adult.

It’s not fair that we had to go through this, but I still feel lucky. I feel lucky because through those hard times I was surrounded by a support group of people that taught me the right way to see terror and how to cope with all of what I was feeling.

I wish there was more that I could say than just “thank you” to the heroes of September 11th. The cops, firefighters, civilians and passengers that all helped save so many lives deserve everything they could ever want in life, and there will never be enough thank you’s for them. But now that I look back on my life, I have my own personal heroes that I feel deserve thanks as well. I want to thank the teachers, family members, friends and parents of friends that taught me how to cope with what happened to our country throughout the last ten years. I don’t know if I would be able to make sense of life now if I didn’t have the strength of the people that guided me through this last decade. We are all stronger because of the heroes and because of the memories of those we lost that day.

My Girl Crushes

20 Aug

I don’t know if I can speak for all of the other ladies my age, but I know plenty of girls like me that have a whole bunch of “girl crushes.” What do I mean, exactly? Pretty much famous women that are super attractive, talented, just wonderful in some way.

I’m not saying that if they laid the moves on me I would go after them, but I definitely have a list of celebrities that are super beautiful/hot/all around perfect. I find that a lot of girls I talked to agree with me on my favorite chicks, so I figured I’d share them!

1. Katy Perry

Katy Perry is just perfection in woman form. She has a perfect body, stunning hair gorgeous face and she’s kind of a badass. Plus she’s married to Russell Brand who is her awesome counterpart. She makes pop look dangerously sexy and I love it. I would like to meet the person- guy, girl, gay, straight, giraffe, platypus- that doesn’t find her insanely hot and I would like to shake them until they say, “Oh wait, you’re right Erica!”

 

 

 

2. Emma Stone

When I tried to think of how to explain Emma Stone without using the word “hot” I came up with “smolders.” Her eyes are so sexy and smolder-y she makes me weak in the knees. I love her hair, too. So much so that I have been considering going red myself. Plus, most importantly, she is hilarious without needing to play the ditsy girly idiot character that most “comedy” women are stuck in. I love that she has enough independence in Hollywood to carry any part without turning it into an overly-feminine pile of crap.

 

3. Adele

I am obsessed with Adele’s music. Of course I got hooked when the radio played “Rolling in the Deep” about 7,000 a day but then I got the rest of her album, and it’s basically the only thing I listen to these days. Her music is perfection: she has the most beautiful voice I have heard in a while and I love it real bad. Then I decided to Google her and saw Adele’s gorgeous lips, eyes and hair. I’ve always wanted big, pouty lips and she has exactly what I want. Plus she does her hair and makeup so perfectly: she rocks the look I wish I was cool enough to rock. Gotta love a girl with a bouffant.

 

4. Tristan Prettyman

Tristan Prettyman totally rocks the sexy hippy chic look to a “T.” When I try and do that I just look overdone and dirty. Plus she’s in great shape and she has a sexy, scratchy, jazzy voice with really mellow songs that are irresistible. It doesn’t hurt that she lives the coolest life imaginable: beach bum, model and yoga instructor by day, rock star by night. I mean, come on, it’s like everything any girl would want in their life and she gets all of that in one day. I have raved about her music before on this blog, but I think everything should check out Tristan Prettyman: she’s super crush-worthy.

 

 

5. Zooey Deschanel

What isn’t there to love about Zooey Deschanel? I love any girl that can rock the dark brown hair and pale skin and make it look cute as hell. And her outfits! She does the vintage, ’50’s look and lifestyle and it is so cute. I wish I had the money she did from her movies and awesome band so that I could buy cute dresses and heels like her. Plus, she was in one of my absolute favorite movies in the world, “Elf.” Who doesn’t love an adorable elf?

 

 

6. Tina Fey
Tina Fey is my number one girl crush without a doubt. Mainly because she is someone I completely look up to. She has my dream life, career and she looks awesome. Tina Fey makes nerdy sexy and she proves that you don’t have to be 7 feet tall and 60 pounds to look good. She makes average look sexy and I have so much respect for her because of it. I would say more but there is so much more for me to say that I might just save it for a long love letter! In the words of Tina Fey  “She is my  heroine. And by heroine I mean ‘lady hero.’ I don’t want to inject her and listen to jazz,”

I guess I must have a thing for brunettes…

Got My Diploma!

18 Aug

I have no idea what this says (illiterate), but apparently it’s a big deal!

Now, after months of waiting, I can… put it back in the envelope it came in and leave it there forever.

My Favorite Travel Quotes

18 Aug

Recently my friend Alicia just got back from a study abroad trip to Brazil, which is so friggin awesome I can’t even comprehend it. I’ve never been down to South America- listen to me, talking like I travel the world all portentously. I sound like one of those rich Virgin Island hopping yuppies. “Oh I’ve never been to St. Thomas but St. Croix is to diiie for.”- but I imagine it is probably one of the most colorful and wonderful places there is, so I’d love to be able to make that trip.

Anyway, it got me thinking and missing all that is wonderful when it comes to travel. Any student I meet that tells me they are considering studying abroad gets my long lecture about how important it is to travel in a person’s life. It changed me into what I like to consider a better and more well-rounded person. I mean, when I studied abroad I was totally broke and the recession had hit my family pretty hard, but I took out loans, took a deep breath and went crazy. In my opinion, it was necessary for my own personal growth to have done what I did.

Alicia sent me these quotes that various authors and notable people have said regarding travel, and they are pretty much great. There’s a lot of my own that I have saved up, so I decided to post my top ten quotes here. They are significant to me because when I read them I can feel the emotions I felt when I was traveling: the satisfying smell of fresh air I would breath in as I fell asleep in the olive groves of Florence, the light warmth of a sun masked by clouds while walking to class in the mornings of London, the impossible awe I got resting my hands on the beams of the Eiffel Tower and the walls of the Colosseum. Those are moments that still leave my jaw hanging open, and these are quotes that help me remember them:

1. “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you- it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you… Hopefully, you leave something good behind.” —Anthony Bourdain

2. “Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” — Mark Jenkins

3. “Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.” —Maya Angelou

4. “Not all those who wander are lost.” — J. R. R. Tolkien

5. “To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted.” —  Bill Bryson

6. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

7.  “Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” — Casare Pavese

8. “Your true traveler finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty-his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure.” — Aldous Huxley

9. “All the pathos and irony of leaving one’s youth behind is thus implicit in every joyous moment of travel: one knows that the first joy can never be recovered, and the wise traveler learns not to repeat successes but tries new places all the time.” — Paul Fussell

10. “He who does not travel does not know the value of men.”  — Moorish proverb.

My Generation and Their Ugly Ink

11 Aug

I like to consider myself a semi-logical person, meaning that I try my hardest to make good decisions in my life. Sure I may not know what I’m doing or where I’m going but I hope that I am taking the right steps towards a stable and happy future.

When I was a teenager I wanted, no I needed a tattoo. I thought it was completely necessary to get a couple of different things that I now look at as probably the stupidest thing I could have done to myself. There aren’t even words for how relieved I am that I didn’t make the dumb, permanent decisions that I thought were so great a few years ago.

I think that a lot of people my age really don’t think through the choice of covering their bodies in completely permanent tattoos, and I know that I will hear plenty of angry comments from this post, but there are a ton of different tattoos that I see on people my age that are just plain stupid. Here’s my list of the top 8 dumb tattoos:

1. The Standard Cliches

A double wammy of dumbness

Nautical stars, hearts, butterflies, flowers, Japanese letters… basically anything you probably can pull out of a quarter machine at a diner is probably a bad idea. They have no meaning, and everyone who sees them are just mentally rolling their eyes while they yell “Ohhh my gosh!!! That’s sooo great!!!”

There is one tattoo that out-stupids all of the tattoos in the tattoo universe: the tribal. I used to know a guy that would always, always wear long sleeves. Finally, one night he decided to show everyone his tribal tattoo. I couldn’t help but yell “What tribe are you in!?” At which he hung his head shamefully and laughed off his stupid teenage decision.

Honestly, how is a tribal supposed to be attractive, cool or a wise decision at all? Everyone just knows they are for men who want a tattoo badly but can’t think of something real to get. They scream “I’m a big old tool!!” from across a room.

My advice? If you need to resort to cliches, you need to not walk into a tattoo parlor.

2. Music Lyrics

Who, who, who, who, WHO WOULD DO THIS TO THEMSELVES!?

I’m really against music lyrics, mainly because the minute you find one worthy of covering your skin with a better one will probably come along. Plenty of people say “no, no, no this has been my favorite band since I was, like, a senior in high school” without realizing that at our age high school wasn’t that long ago. This is one instance where I think that a t-shirt would solve the problem of needing to let everyone know how much you love a song/band. Band lyrics are slowly creeping their way into the super-cliches of the tattoo generation, and usually the lyrics have no relevance or meaning to the person at all. They just look cool. We as a generation are far too young to decide what songs and lyrics will become a permanent staple in our lives, especially since most of us haven’t experienced the real milestones of life: having children, getting married, moving into our own homes, all that stuff that turns a person into an adult. “Kharma Police” is not the symbolic embodiment of yourself, stop trying to look cool.

3. Anything Trendy

This is called a mistake

I first decided that I did not want any crazy tattoos when I was a senior in high school. I was checking out at an H&M and the scenester girl that was ringing me up was covered in tattoos. Some of my readers might not have been old enough to remember the scenester movement, but it involved a ton of neon, horribly terrible multi-colored hair cuts and things that belonged in the ’80’s. This young idiot that was ringing me up had a massive neon boom box tattooed on her lower arm. For those who are too young to know what a boom box is… okay thats enough. I couldn’t help but stare at her hideous, trendy tattoo and feel completely nauteous. I will bet you anything that the girl that rang me up four years ago is in the process of painful and expensive lazer removal in an attempt to, like all of us do, erase the embarrassing child she once was.

Here’s the thing: trends don’t last. Handlebar mustaches, PBR, steampunk and fixed gear bycicles won’t be cool in a couple years and acknowledging that you were apart of that will be embarrassing. Unfortunately, part of this hipster trend is permanent and trendy tattoos that will, very very soon, become uninteresting and over-the-top.

4. Band Tattoos
Let me share a nice little embarrassing story of myself with everyone. When I was in high school I was famous for being completely and totally obsessed with Green Day. Like, embarrassingly obsessed. I thought that for the rest of my life I would walk around in jeans, Chuck Taylors and an oversized Green Day t-shirts. I had Green Day tattoos planned for ages. I knew that they were going to be on me and I would love them forever.

I am now totally and completely mortified that I thought like this. Bands are trends, they come and go. Sure I still like Green Day but they didn’t turn me into the person I am today.  They are just a fun part of my life that I can now laugh about with my friends. Just like N*Sync and Hanson. Bands break up, and sometimes people in bands do things so despicable that you completely fall out of love with them. They are made of super rich celebrities, not moral and wonderful people that understand you and want to impress only you.

5. (Certain) Memorial Tattoos

I feel like this woman would be less than pleased to see this...

I’ve seen a ton of people get tattoos with the excuse that they are honoring a loved one in some way. Now don’t get me wrong on this one, I have seen some tattoos and heard the stories behind them that make me think, ‘wow that is really beautiful,’ but I have also heard stories, or excuses that are just plain stupid and disrespectful. Grandparent tattoos, for example. Lots of people get tattoos to commemorate a grandparent without considering how said grandparent would actually have felt about it were they alive. I know that if I were to walk up to my sweet little Nanny with a giant tattoo of her face she would smack the ink off my body. That’s because most people outside of our generation don’t feel as hip and cool to the idea of tattoos as we do. Most senior citizens, parents and any adult that didn’t grow up in the 90’s think tattoos are really stupid and would rather not see their children covering themselves in them. My mom, for example, hates tattoos, to a point where it’s really super irrational and kind of annoying. But, just to have a laugh, my brothers and I love telling her that we are going to get a tattoo of her name, which leads to like 15 minutes of head shaking and high-pitched whining. Personally (and this is entirely personal so just get over it) I think it is a little selfish to get a commemorative tattoo of someone who wouldn’t want you to get a tattoo in the first place.

6. Artsy (and Massive) Ink

This is on you forever.

Canvases are an amazing thing. You can buy them for relatively cheap, and if you are a starving artist you can either scrape off crappy paintings or just cover over a crappy painting and reuse them. Most importantly, crap can be removed from a canvas. The same does not apply to your skin. I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this, but skin is on you permanently, so it might not be the wisest medium to cover with other people’s artwork. I bet if you admired a tattoo artist’s work they would gladly be commissioned for a painting, and that way the art wouldn’t get old, faded and saggy when your body also gets old, faded and saggy.

I knew I wasn’t destined for the tattoo world because I would never be able to get something that would show up in my eventual wedding photographs. One day I might just look back on something big and bright on my body and think, wow I really wish I didn’t have that on me at one of the most important days of my life. I have come to understand the idea of permanence and I have also come to understand that art comes and goes in different waves or movements. I mean, back in the 80’s people freaking loved neon and weird shapes, and those paintings you still see in doctors offices that are like splattered with a lot of weird and pastelly-awkward textures. If someone got a tattoo of that they would now look like an out-dated waiting room. Think about that when you go to get some beautiful work of modern art on your arm.

7. Any tramp stamp. ANY TRAMP STAMP.

What would your father say!?

Tramp stamps, or the tattoo across your lower back, have been an embarrassment since, like, the ’90’s. They are the epitome of trash, because their sole purpose is to be revealed through low-cut jeans and bikinis. They are never beautiful or pretty or cute. They are awful and they shame your parents.

Look at this photo on the left: this girl has officially transformed her into an idiot. Forever. Yeah that tattoo is funny right now and it might be a great- if not completely trashy- conversation starter, but when you have a child and have to explain why you have handlebars on your lower back and what that means, it won’t be so funny. This is a permanent decision here, and we aren’t going to be in our early 20’s forever.

8. Anything and Everything Spontaneous

It's a bad decision, bitch.

Spontaneity is awesome. Who doesn’t love jumping in the car for a day at the beach or deciding to have that shot at the bar? Being a little wild and crazy is fun, but not when it comes to a permanent tattoo on your body forever and ever and ever.

If there’s anything that Britney has taught me it’s that thinking through permanent decisions is a good idea. A tattoo should be handled with a lot of thought and consideration. Not just what you’re getting, but who you’re getting it from. It doesn’t matter how small it is or how insignificant, this is your life and this is going on you forever. If you’re not happy with the artist or if you have any hesitation, I would skip it and come back another day. My main problem with spontaneity in tattoos is that it is not necessary. If you feel like you need to act on a tattoo right away, then chances are it’s because you might not go through with getting it in the future. After all, a tattoo is going to be on you forever. You can wait a year to get it, it’s not like one year will matter in the rest of your life.

People my age neglect the fact that, in the future, the decisions of now will have some effect on them. We will all, hopefully, get old and so will the tattoos that are covering some of their bodies. And many people will regret the New Kids on the Block tattoo or the big ol’ nautical star. Think about it…