Tag Archives: Understanding Life

How Sitcoms Have Stolen my Mojo

17 Apr

The last week of my life has been filled with “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix. It’s a pretty awesome show, but like all sitcoms it has its flaws. Maybe it was that I’ve been watching it non-stop for way too long, but I can’t help but feel like a huge nerd whenever I watch sitcoms. The people on these shows are just so… cool.

So being the really un-cool, non-sitcom, real-life-living girl that I am, I came up with a list of ways sitcoms have made me feel less awesome.

1. Constantly Attainable, Huge Group of Friends.
When I’m sitting at home on a Friday night in a t-shirt and leggings watching repeats of Swamp People I always wonder, ‘where’s my ragtag group of buds waiting for me at the bar below my apartment?‘ Where’s my saucy single guy friend and hopelessly romantic girl friend that always end up together even

Honestly, who has the time in their life to match their schedules with six other friends!?

though they know it will never work, and the crazy one that’s always getting into trouble but bringing us all closer together in the process? Am I the only person on the planet that doesn’t have a group of four-plus people constantly ready to jump and do something wacky and wild? Or am I just a friendless weirdo? I mean, let’s be honest, getting a group together takes some planning: decided whose house is the cleanest or less chaotic to head over to, finding times when everyone isn’t at class or at work, picking designated drivers for nights at the bar, it’s not as easy as it seems. How is everyone constantly attainable on these shows? Is it just an attempt at making everyone else look like losers? You’re killing me, big old group of TV friends.

2. Amazing Apartments
Oh, look at us, we’re a bunch of sexy 20-something singles on the road of life just trying to make it in the big city. Look at how big our fancy schmancy loft is! Pfffffft. Can I tell you how obnoxious it is to watch these people that are supposedly my age thriving in big giant apartments with couches that aren’t from Ikea and brightly painted wainscoting and vintage refrigerators that would obviously be expensive to maintain but still look cool while I sit here in the same bedroom I’ve existed in for the last 22 years? I read somewhere that Monica’s apartment in the middle of Greenwich Village on Friends would cost around $5,000 a month, which seems perfectly reasonable for a barista, a line cook and a masseuse to afford.  The crappy part about all this is that growing up and watching these shows I actually believed that when I graduated from college I would actually be in one of these apartments. No one told me that sitcom stars didn’t have to pay student loans, and Carrie Bradshaw makes shopping addictions look a lot cuter than they are in real life.

3. Endless Bank Account
How does a weekly columnist for the New York Star manage to afford so many amazing designer outfits!? Seriously, what is Carrie Bradshaw making, like $40,000 a year!? It’s not possible! And how much do you think it costs to keep Rachel Green’s hair looking that immaculate? Then of course there’s the

Seriously, Carrie?

random sitcom trips to various locations like Vegas and Atlantic City and London and all unfortunately funny mishaps that result in hilarious car crashes and pipes spraying water all over people in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. What are sitcom characters just being constantly smothered by their own debt? And where is the episode about that? I understand the whole point of a situation-comedy is to provide viewers with comedy, but seeing how money grows on trees for all of these characters is not making me laugh! They all dress so perfectly and do fun things and look super cute and are never wondering where the money for their next bill will come from. I spend a lot of time finding out where these peoples’ outfits are from, and usually gasping at the actual price. Learn some financial responsibility, Rachel!

4. Socially Acceptable Alcoholism
Who doesn’t love a nice trip to the bar with friends. It’s awesome, it’s fun, and it’s fine… in moderation. My beloved sitcom characters have taken bar bonding to an absurd level. First of all, no one should be spending money on bar outings five days a week. Plus, these people have supposed jobs that always somehow work around their bar schedules. If I knew that my employees spent every night boozing, they’d be gone, no matter how many hilarious who-done-its they get themselves into. How many people in their late 20’s and early 30’s can drink like sitcom characters and not get judged like crazy? I mean they are literally sitting at bars pounding back shots every single time a minor situation come up in their life. You know what that is in real life? A warning sign.

5. Cool Jobs
I actually have one of those “cool jobs” that sitcom stars usually have. I’m an assistant editor at a magazine. I know, I know, it’s all big floor-to-ceilingwindows and crazy run-ins with celebrities and models. Actually… it’s not. It’s a lot of sitting at a cubicle, fighting with salespeople, and leaving voice-mails and e-mails for people that will never get back to me. It’s a lot of joking about Shutterstock, re-hashing scenes from Star Wars, and eating lunch at my desk and very little crazy antics and happy hours. No job is as fun as television tells us it will be; not because life is not some miserable journey to the end, but because if it that much fun no work would ever get done. Honestly I don’t know how the guys on “Just Shoot Me” managed to put out a 250 page magazine every month, they were just plain reckless.

What Megan Fox Has Taught Me

13 Apr

…Wow I honestly never thought I would be creating a post about Megan Fox, let alone about her life lessons. I’m just not a fan, mainly because I’ve never seen any of her movies (seriously, Transformers just sounds terrible to me) and know nothing about her besides the fact that she’s hot.

But then I stumbled on this TODAY article and watched her Jay Leno interview regarding her tattoo removal, and I’ve come to sort of respect the girl!

Continue reading

Trends I’m Too Young to Not Understand

30 Mar

If my awkward attempts at humor haven’t clued you in on who I am, I can flat out tell you: I’m not that trendy. I don’t know what my problem is, really. I guess I just don’t have any interest in investing myself into something that’s cool at the moment, only to realize in a month that it’s no longer what the kids are into. I wasted my money on trends like that all through high school and I’m over it!

Through that disinterest I have also began to realize how weird, pointless and kind of stupid these trends are. I know as a member of the young adult population I am supposed to “get” them, but I can’t. So here’s my long, rambling rant about weird trends that are super hip and don’t make a lick of sense to me.

Mustaches
Mustache coffee mugs, phone covers, pillow cases, party themes… What the heck!? Since when has something so ordinary and

This is stupid, so is your trend.

kind of gross become hip? A mustache on a man has never ever looked attractive. They get food in them and wiggle around

when they talk and they are awful for kissing. They are stupid, and so is this trend. I don’t understand why all of the sudden

everyone is supposed to cover their houses with mustaches. Mustaches. Really? Now guys are walking around with stupid mustaches like the one Captain Hook has in “Hook” and thinking they look trendy? No you don’t! You look like a sheep in ugly facial hair. There’s a reason the handlebar mustache has gone away in our society, please don’t bring it back as some sort of ironic gesture, hipsters.

DayGlow
I can see where this might be fun to some. Heck, I could see myself having fun in the right setting of a giant paint party similar to DayGlow, but in its true form the whole idea looks horrible! Hey lets all get in a car and drive to a big warehouse then stand around in a group of thousands of people with no room to move (and no way to get drinks and make the whole experience more bearable) then attempt to wiggle around AKA dance inside the mass of screaming people while other people squirt paint on us and play really loud DubStep (another loud trend I don’t get) for a short period of time, then get in the car soaking wet from other peoples’ sweat and paint and go home and shower. For one, that paint must be terrible for the interior of your car, and it’s all just way too much. Too many people crammed together, too much work to get to that point. Too, too much for very little reward.

Bon Iver
Bon Iver is terrible. Weird, shrieky, spacey junk. I refuse to explain any further or listen to any more of it, and I wish everyone else would stop posting weird Bon Iver videos on my Facebook. The end.

Instagram
It’s not that I don’t get Instagram. I know exactly what it is although I don’t own an iPhone and have never

Duck faces AND instagram? You're flawless, why cover it up with so much weird?!

used it. What I don’t understand is why people still use it. I mean you can just post photos on Twitter and Facebook directly from your phone, and they don’t come out grainy and in sepia tone. I guess if it came out for a Droid I would try it, but I still don’t see the point and it would bother me that my pictures wouldn’t be clear. Someone explained to me that “using Instagram instantly makes your pictures look good when they aren’t actually good, which is why so many girls like taking pictures of themselves and posting them all over the place”, but if that’s the case everyone knows you’re just cheating! Ladies, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, and don’t cover it up with annoying filters!

YOLO
Wait, wait, wait. I thought everyone had unanimously agreed a few years ago that using word abbreviations in everyday speech was lame? Now it’s cool again? Since when!? Apparently YOLO (or you only live once, for the people like me that don’t understand most trends without the help of Google) is a way for college girls to drink a lot and make bad decisions without judging themselves. The thing is though, I also realize that IOLO (I only live once, get it? No? Eh.) and I choose to use that time to make good choices, like, you know, not say YOLO. You can’t erase big mistakes people, remember that before you do your little YOLO chant or whatever.

Paleo
This super, duper trendy diet is odd to say the least. I love the concept: eat meat and veggies all day, but I can’t quite grasp the entire idea. There’s a lot of “you can eat this, but not if it’s this, this, this or this” and “you can eat that but not if it has this much this or that much that in it.” I don’t really understand how to ever get this right, and I’ve tried to because any excuse to eat steak every day is good to me. Paleo fans swear by it, with that super condescending “it’s actually not thaaaaaaat hard” kind of tone whenever someone like me tries to make sense of it. Trust me, I’ve worked at Whole Foods. I’ve heard the Paleo talk more than I’d ever wanted to. So I guess if going Paleo turns you into a totally self-righteous lame-o I don’t want to give it a try.

Vide-OH! of the Day

9 Mar

When I’m always broke, in stressful situations, and desperate for things of my own it’s very easy to be annoyed with life. Today is one of those days. On days like today I like to put this song on and play it over and over again. Enjoy!

Invisible Children Haters? Really?

8 Mar

So it’s barely the second day since the Kony 2012 video has hit the Internet, and it’s already met with those obnoxious Internet pessimists that feel the need to smash anyone’s unique idea before it has the opportunity to get started…

Phew, okay, sorry I’m just very annoyed.

An accurate depiction of the professional blogger.

How can people be so hateful that they have to find a way to dislike a charitable organization? They fluff themselves up with numbers and percentages and try to make them look bad. Really? What are you going to do next, take a toddler’s ice cream cone? Come on, people.

It’s situations like this that make me lose total faith in humanity. Oh you’ve read one article that is a blatant attempt at tarnishing an organization? That must make you a professional on the entire situation in Uganda! These guys that spend half of their lives over in the actual country with their hands on the pulse of the people don’t know squat!

Here’s the bottom line: No matter what, Invisible Children and its team have devoted their lives to saving the child soldiers of Uganda. Of course 100 percent of the profits can’t go over to the cause, these people need to pay for transportation costs, film costs (remember: they’re creating an Internet sensation through media, so they have to produce the best quality projects they can) and simply living and feeding their family. But the money that does reach Uganda helps people. It feeds them and provides medicine and saves lives. It makes a difference. And they are people that care, unlike these angry bloggers that are so dedicated on crushing their cause.

I’m choosing to ignore these people that think because they did some Googling they automatically know everything about Uganda. I’m also choosing to be proactive and do my homework and learn the best way to help. Who knows, I might find a better organization to work with that isn’t Invisible Children, but in the end the Kony 2012 video has opened my eyes up and made me want to change and help. That should be more important than percentages.

It’s time to step up our game

7 Mar

Ever since I was young I’ve tried hard to be as involved in the conflicts of Africa as I could. In high school my Literature of the Holocaust class raised over $5,000 to help provide the refugee camps of Darfur with clean drinking water. Entering college and being preoccupied with being in college definitely distracted me from something that used to be very important to me, and having very little money for the last decade has made it more difficult to donate.

This video made me remember that while I was busy sleeping in and drinking, children were dying at the hands of monsters. The world is a scary place when we take the time to step outside of our bubble, but we can help!

This grassroots movement aims to arrest Joseph Kony by the end of 2012 and help put an end to child soldiers in Uganda. It’s driven entirely by us, the people with a voice, and by social media.

Check out the video, and most importantly share it! You may be as broke as I am, but we can let those that influence our media hear this message and help do something to stop it. So let’s use the sites that we are already glued to all day, every day to save lives!

Justin Bieber is 18 and It’s Kind of Weird

1 Mar

Last night as I was going to bed I saw a Twitter post declaring that Justin Bieber had officially turned 18 today, on March 1. Then someone else asked why it was typical for guys to get all hot and bothered when a female celebrity turned 18, and why ladies didn’t respond the same way to male celebrities. It really got me thinking about it. Is this some kind of weird double-standard?

I’ve known plenty of guys my age who got a little over-excited when Miley Cyrus and Selene Gomez turned 18.Even the media goes bonkers over 18-year-old girls. When Dakota Fanning became of age Cosmopolitan magazine

Seriously, how is this little kid 18!?

published a photo of her in bunny ears with a caption that read “Two years ago this would have been cute. Now it’s hot.” I have yet to hear about anyone react to Justin Bieber’s adulthood in such an off-putting, creepy manner.

Why is a hot celebrity or person turning  18 such a turn-on to men, but so cliche to women? I guess society kind of explains it: when a man dates a younger woman, it’s viewed as a status symbol and an accomplishment, but a woman with a younger man is deemed a “cougar,” an old bag on the prowl for younger meat. So by assumption it is more acceptable for a man to view a younger woman sexually than the other way around. But still, I don’t think there are many closeted women who are secretly in a tizzy over an 18-year-old Biebs. It’s just not something that is attractive to a woman.

When I think of an 18-year-old I think of a little boy still. Bieber’s a kid, (and not just because the guy looks like he’s freaking 12) and just because his age has changed the fact still remains that he’s kind of still a little boy. So how does this switch change in men’s minds that instantly causes them to drool as their tongues roll onto the ground? What’s in that number that makes men go bonkers?

Of course as a woman I’ll never understand men, and I somehow doubt I’ll find a man who would be able to explain this complex to me, but either way, happy birthday Bieber!